1 00:01:29,479 --> 00:01:32,039 - The gentleman has not arrived? - No, he has not. 2 00:01:32,115 --> 00:01:33,981 I'm afraid the dinner will be spoiled. 3 00:01:34,050 --> 00:01:37,179 What difference does it make? It's too late to dine now. 4 00:01:37,854 --> 00:01:42,189 Boy, will you page Mr. Otis B. Driftwood, please? 5 00:01:46,395 --> 00:01:48,227 Paging Mr. Driftwood! 6 00:01:50,933 --> 00:01:52,458 Mr. Driftwood! 7 00:01:54,937 --> 00:01:57,998 Do me a favor and stop yelling my name all over this restaurant. 8 00:01:58,074 --> 00:02:00,805 - Do I go around yelling your name? - Mr. Driftwood! 9 00:02:00,877 --> 00:02:03,711 Is your voice changing, or is somebody else paging me? 10 00:02:03,779 --> 00:02:07,272 - Mr. Driftwood! - Why, Mrs. Claypool, hello! 11 00:02:07,350 --> 00:02:10,218 You invited me to dine with you at 7:00. 12 00:02:10,286 --> 00:02:12,448 It is now 8:00, and no dinner. 13 00:02:12,522 --> 00:02:15,515 No dinner? I just had one of the biggest meals of my life... 14 00:02:15,591 --> 00:02:16,957 and no thanks to you, either. 15 00:02:17,026 --> 00:02:20,428 - I've been sitting right here since 7:00. - With your back to me. 16 00:02:20,496 --> 00:02:23,159 When I dine with a woman, I expect her to look at my face. 17 00:02:23,232 --> 00:02:26,498 - That's the price she has to pay. - Your check, sir. 18 00:02:27,236 --> 00:02:30,968 $9.40? This is an outrage! If I were you, I wouldn't pay it. 19 00:02:33,442 --> 00:02:36,708 - What are we gonna have for dinner? - You've had your dinner. 20 00:02:36,779 --> 00:02:38,145 All right, we'll have breakfast. 21 00:02:38,214 --> 00:02:39,648 - Waiter! - Yes, sir. 22 00:02:39,715 --> 00:02:42,048 - Have you got any milk-fed chicken? - Yes, sir. 23 00:02:42,118 --> 00:02:44,610 Squeeze the milk out of one and bring me a glass. 24 00:02:44,687 --> 00:02:45,677 Yes, sir. 25 00:02:45,755 --> 00:02:49,453 Mr. Driftwood, three months ago, you promised to put me into society. 26 00:02:49,525 --> 00:02:53,087 In all that time, you've done nothing but draw a very handsome salary. 27 00:02:53,162 --> 00:02:57,293 You think that's nothing? How many men do you think draw a handsome salary? 28 00:02:57,366 --> 00:03:00,302 You can count them on the fingers of one hand, my good woman. 29 00:03:00,369 --> 00:03:03,237 - I'm not your good woman! - Don't say that, Mrs. Claypool. 30 00:03:03,306 --> 00:03:05,241 I don't care what your past has been. 31 00:03:05,308 --> 00:03:08,540 To me, you'll always be my good woman, because I love you. 32 00:03:08,611 --> 00:03:11,877 There. I didn't mean to tell you but you dragged it out of me. 33 00:03:11,948 --> 00:03:13,382 I love you. 34 00:03:13,449 --> 00:03:16,510 That's hard to believe when I find you dining with another woman. 35 00:03:16,586 --> 00:03:19,420 That woman? Do you know why I sat with her? 36 00:03:19,655 --> 00:03:21,954 Because she reminded me of you. 37 00:03:22,291 --> 00:03:24,192 - Really? - Of course. 38 00:03:24,427 --> 00:03:27,920 That's why I'm here with you, because you remind me of you. 39 00:03:27,997 --> 00:03:32,594 Your eyes, your throat, your lips.... Everything about you reminds me of you... 40 00:03:32,668 --> 00:03:33,727 except you. 41 00:03:33,803 --> 00:03:37,399 How do you account for that? She figures that out, she's good. 42 00:03:37,506 --> 00:03:41,068 Mr. Driftwood, I think we'd better keep everything on a business basis. 43 00:03:41,143 --> 00:03:44,978 Every time I get romantic with you, you want to talk business. 44 00:03:45,448 --> 00:03:49,977 I don't know. There's something about me that brings out the business in all women. 45 00:03:50,386 --> 00:03:53,823 All right, we'll talk business. You see that man eating spaghetti? 46 00:03:53,889 --> 00:03:56,518 - No. - You see the spaghetti, don't you? 47 00:03:56,892 --> 00:03:59,726 Behind that spaghetti is none other than Herman Gottlieb... 48 00:03:59,929 --> 00:04:01,989 director of the New York Opera Company. 49 00:04:02,064 --> 00:04:03,862 - Do you follow me? - Yes. 50 00:04:03,933 --> 00:04:06,266 Stop following me, or I'll have you arrested! 51 00:04:06,335 --> 00:04:10,067 I've arranged for you to invest $200,000 in the New York Opera Company. 52 00:04:10,139 --> 00:04:11,198 I don't understand. 53 00:04:11,274 --> 00:04:13,436 Don't you see? You'll be a patron of the opera. 54 00:04:13,509 --> 00:04:15,102 You'll get into society. 55 00:04:15,177 --> 00:04:17,737 You can marry me, and they'll kick you out of society... 56 00:04:17,813 --> 00:04:20,078 and all you've lost is $200,000. 57 00:04:22,351 --> 00:04:24,081 Gottlieb. Allow me. 58 00:04:24,153 --> 00:04:26,281 Mrs. Claypool, Mr. Gottlieb. 59 00:04:31,294 --> 00:04:34,059 I could go on all night, but it's tough on my suspenders. 60 00:04:34,130 --> 00:04:35,564 Where was I? 61 00:04:38,834 --> 00:04:40,666 What are you doing? 62 00:04:40,903 --> 00:04:44,840 If you four people want to play bridge, don't mind me, go right ahead. 63 00:04:45,007 --> 00:04:47,135 Mrs. Claypool, I'm so happy. 64 00:04:49,278 --> 00:04:52,180 I just wanted to see if your rings were still there. 65 00:04:52,682 --> 00:04:54,947 You're as charming as you are beautiful. 66 00:04:55,017 --> 00:04:57,885 I'm afraid you've used that speech before, Mr. Gottlieb. 67 00:04:57,953 --> 00:05:01,515 Now listen here, Gottlieb, making love to Mrs. Claypool is my racket. 68 00:05:01,590 --> 00:05:03,616 What you're after is $200,000. 69 00:05:05,027 --> 00:05:07,895 Make it sound plausible, because incredible as it may seem... 70 00:05:07,963 --> 00:05:10,694 Mrs. Claypool isn't as big a sap as she looks. 71 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:12,769 How's that for lovemaking? 72 00:05:13,002 --> 00:05:15,130 I think the Europeans do it better. 73 00:05:15,338 --> 00:05:18,240 All right, Gottlieb, it's your turn. You take a whack at her... 74 00:05:18,307 --> 00:05:19,775 and keep it clean. 75 00:05:21,010 --> 00:05:24,378 Mrs. Claypool, it is most generous of you to help us. 76 00:05:24,613 --> 00:05:28,015 Now, you have, of course, heard of Rodolfo Lassparri. 77 00:05:28,150 --> 00:05:31,746 - Of course. - He is the greatest tenor since Caruso. 78 00:05:32,822 --> 00:05:35,951 Tonight, with the money you so generously provide... 79 00:05:36,025 --> 00:05:39,052 I sign Lassparri for the Opera Company. 80 00:05:39,128 --> 00:05:42,792 He will be a sensation. All New York will be at your feet. 81 00:05:42,898 --> 00:05:44,799 There's plenty of room. 82 00:05:45,501 --> 00:05:47,697 And now, the opera awaits us. 83 00:05:48,003 --> 00:05:50,734 If you both will honor me by occupying my box. 84 00:05:50,806 --> 00:05:52,172 I should be charmed. 85 00:05:52,241 --> 00:05:54,972 - And you, Mr. Driftwood? - I'll join up with you later. 86 00:05:55,044 --> 00:05:58,981 Listen, Gottlieb, nix on the lovemaking, because I saw Mrs. Claypool first. 87 00:05:59,048 --> 00:06:03,110 Of course, her mother really saw her first, but why bring the Civil War into this? 88 00:06:26,342 --> 00:06:28,208 What are you doing in my costume? 89 00:06:28,277 --> 00:06:31,270 Take it off at once, do you hear? Immediately. 90 00:06:34,316 --> 00:06:36,342 Why, you.... 91 00:06:40,790 --> 00:06:42,315 Take that off. 92 00:06:49,932 --> 00:06:52,834 Take off that dress, do you hear me? You dumb idiot. 93 00:06:52,902 --> 00:06:55,565 You do what I say, or I'll break your neck! 94 00:06:59,108 --> 00:07:01,634 Do you hear me? Take off that dress. 95 00:07:02,044 --> 00:07:05,572 If I get my hands on you, you'll never hear the end of this! 96 00:07:05,648 --> 00:07:08,880 You're no longer my dresser, you're fired! Get out! 97 00:07:09,418 --> 00:07:13,287 Get out, do you hear me? Out you go. And don't come back in here again. 98 00:07:22,731 --> 00:07:25,724 Don't you care. You're lucky to be rid of him. 99 00:07:31,006 --> 00:07:32,941 - Good evening, Rosa. - Good evening, signore. 100 00:07:33,008 --> 00:07:36,638 Tomasso, why don't you come in? I've been waiting for you. 101 00:07:42,785 --> 00:07:45,880 Are they not beautiful, signorina? From Signor Lassparri. 102 00:07:45,955 --> 00:07:49,448 I wouldn't wear them if they were the only flowers in the world. 103 00:07:49,525 --> 00:07:52,689 - Come in! - Not if you use that tone. 104 00:07:53,262 --> 00:07:57,324 Let's try the whole thing all over again. Only this time, try to be more cordial. 105 00:07:59,034 --> 00:08:02,004 - Come in. - That's better. Let's try it once more. 106 00:08:02,071 --> 00:08:04,404 No, Ricky. You're such a fool. 107 00:08:05,574 --> 00:08:09,067 - What was it you wanted to see me about? - I suppose I sent for you? 108 00:08:09,144 --> 00:08:11,272 You meant to. Didn't she, Marie? 109 00:08:12,581 --> 00:08:16,450 It's the last night of the season, and I'm more in love with you than ever. 110 00:08:16,519 --> 00:08:20,615 - What will you do about it? - We have all summer to talk that over. 111 00:08:20,689 --> 00:08:24,456 - Tonight, we have to sing an opera. - You have to sing an opera. 112 00:08:24,894 --> 00:08:27,762 - I'm nothing but a glorified chorus man. - Don't say that. 113 00:08:27,830 --> 00:08:31,130 I've got to say it. I've got something else to say. 114 00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:35,232 What are you doing tonight, unless that ham Lassparri asked you first. 115 00:08:35,304 --> 00:08:37,933 - He has asked me first. - Just my luck. 116 00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:40,841 But I'm having supper with you, Riccardo. 117 00:08:40,910 --> 00:08:44,142 Hooray! We'll have champagne, music, flowers.... 118 00:08:46,215 --> 00:08:47,547 "Lassparri." 119 00:08:48,417 --> 00:08:49,783 No flowers. 120 00:08:53,889 --> 00:08:56,324 - Fiorello! - Tony! 121 00:08:56,392 --> 00:09:00,420 - Where have you been all these weeks? - Here, there, different places. 122 00:09:00,496 --> 00:09:03,660 - Got some mail for me? - Mail for you? You don't work here. 123 00:09:03,732 --> 00:09:06,668 Where am I gonna get my mail? I no work anyplace. 124 00:09:10,039 --> 00:09:11,302 Tomasso! 125 00:09:20,916 --> 00:09:23,442 Not so good. Don't be so glad. 126 00:09:24,186 --> 00:09:27,679 I brought you present. You got something for me, too? 127 00:09:27,756 --> 00:09:29,349 What do you got? 128 00:09:30,993 --> 00:09:33,519 Where's Riccardo? All right. 129 00:09:56,318 --> 00:09:59,311 What are you doing here? I thought you were with the circus. 130 00:09:59,388 --> 00:10:01,414 The circus? When was I with the circus? 131 00:10:01,490 --> 00:10:04,892 I nearly forgot. That was a long time ago, last week. 132 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:07,054 Since then I have lots of jobs. 133 00:10:07,129 --> 00:10:09,064 Your piano and my voice. 134 00:10:09,131 --> 00:10:12,397 All those years we studied at the conservatory, and what's come of it? 135 00:10:12,468 --> 00:10:16,337 What's a matter with you? We're still young. We've got our health. 136 00:10:20,309 --> 00:10:24,576 You hear that? Someday, Riccardo, you're gonna be where Lassparri is. 137 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:27,850 When you were 6 years old, you sing better than Lassparri. 138 00:10:27,916 --> 00:10:30,249 Maybe I was better at six than I am now. 139 00:10:30,319 --> 00:10:32,288 You make me sick. You crazy. 140 00:10:32,454 --> 00:10:35,083 You sing better than he ever could sing and you know it. 141 00:10:35,157 --> 00:10:37,820 I know it and you know it, but the public doesn't know it. 142 00:10:37,893 --> 00:10:40,328 - All right. We tell the public. - How? 143 00:10:40,396 --> 00:10:42,126 What you need is a manager. 144 00:10:42,331 --> 00:10:45,301 A wise guy, somebody who's very smart. 145 00:10:46,869 --> 00:10:49,839 - I know just the man for you. - You do? Who is it? 146 00:10:49,905 --> 00:10:50,964 Me! 147 00:10:51,607 --> 00:10:54,543 - But you wouldn't make any money at it. - I'll break even. 148 00:10:54,610 --> 00:10:57,011 Just as long as I no lose nothing. 149 00:11:00,983 --> 00:11:03,953 - Is the opera over yet? - Not yet, signore, in a few minutes. 150 00:11:04,019 --> 00:11:06,011 I told you to slow that nag down. 151 00:11:06,088 --> 00:11:08,319 On account of you, I nearly heard the opera. 152 00:11:08,390 --> 00:11:12,088 Once around the park, and drive slowly. And none of your back talk. 153 00:11:23,439 --> 00:11:25,670 You're still crazy about her? 154 00:11:25,741 --> 00:11:27,733 And she's crazy about you, too? 155 00:11:27,810 --> 00:11:30,370 Even if she was, I couldn't ask her to marry me. 156 00:11:30,446 --> 00:11:33,541 Don't worry. The manager, he'll fix everything. 157 00:11:33,749 --> 00:11:35,513 Anyhow, we're together again... 158 00:11:35,584 --> 00:11:39,043 - you and me, just like old times. - Yeah, like old times. 159 00:11:39,121 --> 00:11:40,987 Yeah, you bet my life. 160 00:11:55,003 --> 00:11:57,165 If you pardon my saying so, Mrs. Claypool... 161 00:11:57,239 --> 00:12:01,301 Mr. Driftwood seems hardly the person to handle your business affairs. 162 00:12:01,376 --> 00:12:04,346 - I'm beginning to think the same thing. - Bravo! 163 00:12:05,647 --> 00:12:07,582 I made it. How soon does the curtain go up? 164 00:12:07,649 --> 00:12:10,676 The curtain, Mr. Driftwood, will go up again next season. 165 00:12:10,753 --> 00:12:14,815 - You've missed the entire opera. - I only missed it by a few minutes. 166 00:12:15,124 --> 00:12:16,649 I can go then? 167 00:12:16,725 --> 00:12:20,685 Was I right? Isn't Lassparri the greatest tenor that ever lived? 168 00:12:20,763 --> 00:12:23,756 He's superb. But what would you have to pay him? 169 00:12:23,832 --> 00:12:25,130 What's the difference? 170 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:27,965 He must sail with us tomorrow no matter what we pay. 171 00:12:28,036 --> 00:12:30,870 - He would be worth $1,000 a night. - How much? 172 00:12:33,175 --> 00:12:35,542 - What does he do? - What does he do, he sings. 173 00:12:35,611 --> 00:12:38,513 You're willing to pay him $1,000 a night just for singing? 174 00:12:38,580 --> 00:12:42,244 You can get a phonograph record of Minnie the Moocher for 75 cents. 175 00:12:42,317 --> 00:12:44,912 For $1.25, you can get Minnie. 176 00:12:44,987 --> 00:12:47,149 If you'll excuse me, Mrs. Claypool... 177 00:12:47,222 --> 00:12:50,215 I think I had better arrange to see Lassparri immediately. 178 00:12:50,292 --> 00:12:53,194 - You are agreed, $1,000 a night? - Just as you think. 179 00:12:53,262 --> 00:12:56,027 $1,000. There must be some way I can get a piece of this. 180 00:12:56,098 --> 00:12:59,728 Wait. Why don't I sign Lassparri? I represent Mrs. Claypool. 181 00:12:59,802 --> 00:13:02,203 But I represent the New York Opera Company. 182 00:13:02,271 --> 00:13:05,764 Boy? Will you give my card to Signor Lassparri, please? 183 00:13:21,623 --> 00:13:23,854 What is it? What do you want? 184 00:13:38,140 --> 00:13:40,268 - Rosa. - Yes, signore? 185 00:13:41,276 --> 00:13:44,371 My good friend Herman Gottlieb is coming back to see me. 186 00:13:44,446 --> 00:13:46,312 How would you like to have supper with us? 187 00:13:46,381 --> 00:13:50,148 I'm terribly sorry, Signor Lassparri, I already have an engagement. 188 00:13:50,252 --> 00:13:51,413 I see. 189 00:13:52,187 --> 00:13:54,247 That's too bad, because I have an idea... 190 00:13:54,323 --> 00:13:57,225 he's going to invite me to sing in New York. 191 00:13:57,526 --> 00:14:01,429 And he may permit me to select my leading lady. 192 00:14:02,564 --> 00:14:05,557 Are you sure you can't break your appointment? 193 00:14:06,869 --> 00:14:08,997 I'm terribly sorry, signore. 194 00:14:20,115 --> 00:14:22,983 What do you mean by humiliating me in front of those people? 195 00:14:23,051 --> 00:14:25,145 You're fired, do you understand? 196 00:14:25,220 --> 00:14:27,712 You big bully, why are you hitting that little bully? 197 00:14:27,789 --> 00:14:30,020 Will you kindly let me handle my own affairs? 198 00:14:30,092 --> 00:14:32,960 Get out. What do you got to say to me? 199 00:14:33,028 --> 00:14:36,863 Can you sleep on your stomach with such big buttons on your pajamas? 200 00:14:37,266 --> 00:14:38,757 Why, you.... 201 00:14:42,371 --> 00:14:44,670 Nice work, I think you got him. 202 00:14:44,806 --> 00:14:47,674 Smelling salts. That will bring him to. 203 00:14:48,677 --> 00:14:52,205 You're sorry for what you did? That shows a nice spirit. 204 00:14:53,715 --> 00:14:56,514 Now he's coming along. He'll be fine now. 205 00:15:02,057 --> 00:15:05,027 - Get fresh with me, huh? - How do you do? 206 00:15:05,193 --> 00:15:07,753 - Hello. - What's the matter, mister? 207 00:15:07,829 --> 00:15:11,197 We had an argument. He pulled a knife on me, so I shot him. 208 00:15:11,266 --> 00:15:14,703 - Do you mind if I.... - Go right ahead. Plenty of room. 209 00:15:15,637 --> 00:15:18,801 - Two beers, bartender. - I'll take two beers, too. 210 00:15:19,508 --> 00:15:21,875 Things seem to be getting better around the country. 211 00:15:21,944 --> 00:15:24,379 I don't know. I'm a stranger here myself. 212 00:15:25,013 --> 00:15:28,973 I came back here looking for somebody. You don't know who it is, do you? 213 00:15:29,051 --> 00:15:31,714 It's a funny thing, it just slipped my mind. 214 00:15:31,787 --> 00:15:35,485 I know. The greatest tenor in the world. That's what I'm after. 215 00:15:35,557 --> 00:15:37,788 - Why, I'm his manager. - Whose manager? 216 00:15:37,859 --> 00:15:39,691 The greatest tenor in the world. 217 00:15:39,761 --> 00:15:42,822 - The fellow that sings at the opera here? - Sure. 218 00:15:43,966 --> 00:15:45,264 What's his name? 219 00:15:45,334 --> 00:15:49,066 What do you care? I can't pronounce it. What do you want with him? 220 00:15:49,338 --> 00:15:52,672 I want to sign him up for the New York Opera Company. 221 00:15:52,841 --> 00:15:55,367 Do you know that America is waiting to hear him sing? 222 00:15:55,444 --> 00:15:58,437 He can sing loud but he can't sing that loud. 223 00:15:59,147 --> 00:16:02,083 I think I can get America to meet him halfway. 224 00:16:02,150 --> 00:16:03,516 Could he sail tomorrow? 225 00:16:03,585 --> 00:16:06,248 You pay him enough money, he could sail yesterday. 226 00:16:06,321 --> 00:16:07,789 How much you pay him? 227 00:16:07,856 --> 00:16:11,384 I don't know. Let's see, $1,000 a night. 228 00:16:12,294 --> 00:16:14,593 I'm entitled to a small profit. 229 00:16:15,197 --> 00:16:17,894 - How about $10 a night? - $10? 230 00:16:19,735 --> 00:16:21,101 I'll take it. 231 00:16:23,238 --> 00:16:26,174 All right, but remember, I get 10% for negotiating the deal. 232 00:16:26,241 --> 00:16:29,109 Yes, and I get 10% for being the manager. 233 00:16:29,344 --> 00:16:30,835 How much does that leave? 234 00:16:30,912 --> 00:16:34,576 Well, that leaves him $8. 235 00:16:36,018 --> 00:16:39,216 - He sends $5 home to his mother. - That leaves $3. 236 00:16:40,155 --> 00:16:42,215 Can he live in New York on $3? 237 00:16:42,290 --> 00:16:43,622 Like a prince. 238 00:16:43,692 --> 00:16:46,924 Of course, he won't be able to eat, but he can live like a prince. 239 00:16:46,995 --> 00:16:50,432 However, out of that $3, he'll have to pay an income tax. 240 00:16:50,732 --> 00:16:54,499 Yes, there's a federal tax, a state tax, and a city tax... 241 00:16:54,803 --> 00:16:57,034 a street tax, and a sewer tax. 242 00:16:57,105 --> 00:16:58,664 How much does this come to? 243 00:16:58,740 --> 00:17:01,835 I figure if he doesn't sing too often, he can break even. 244 00:17:01,910 --> 00:17:04,641 - All right, we take it. - All right, fine. 245 00:17:04,713 --> 00:17:06,238 Here are the contracts. 246 00:17:06,314 --> 00:17:10,046 You just put his name at the top, and you sign at the bottom. 247 00:17:10,218 --> 00:17:12,778 No need of you reading that because these are duplicates. 248 00:17:12,854 --> 00:17:14,618 Yeah. Is a duplicate. 249 00:17:17,059 --> 00:17:19,426 - Duplicates? - I say, they're duplicates. 250 00:17:21,229 --> 00:17:25,667 - Don't you know what duplicates are? - Sure, those five kids up in Canada. 251 00:17:28,170 --> 00:17:31,538 I wouldn't know about that. I haven't been in Canada in years. 252 00:17:32,908 --> 00:17:34,706 Go ahead and read it. 253 00:17:36,611 --> 00:17:39,308 - What does it say? - Go on and read it. 254 00:17:39,815 --> 00:17:42,842 - You read it. - All right, I'll read it to you. 255 00:17:45,087 --> 00:17:47,921 - Can you hear? - I haven't heard anything yet. 256 00:17:48,657 --> 00:17:52,287 - You say anything? - I haven't said anything worth hearing. 257 00:17:52,461 --> 00:17:54,487 That's why I didn't hear anything. 258 00:17:54,563 --> 00:17:56,964 That's why I didn't say anything. 259 00:18:04,106 --> 00:18:07,440 - Can you read? - I can read, but I can't see it. 260 00:18:09,911 --> 00:18:12,437 Don't seem to have it in focus here. 261 00:18:15,016 --> 00:18:17,986 If my arms were a little longer, I could read it. 262 00:18:18,053 --> 00:18:20,716 You haven't got a baboon in your pocket, have you? 263 00:18:20,789 --> 00:18:22,985 Here we are. Now I've got it. 264 00:18:23,959 --> 00:18:28,454 Pay particular attention to this first clause because it's most important. 265 00:18:29,664 --> 00:18:33,226 It says, "The party of the first part shall be known in this contract... 266 00:18:33,301 --> 00:18:35,361 "as the party of the first part." 267 00:18:35,437 --> 00:18:37,599 How do you like that? That's pretty neat, eh? 268 00:18:37,672 --> 00:18:39,300 No, it's no good. 269 00:18:39,875 --> 00:18:43,778 - What's the matter with it? - I don't know. Let's hear it again. 270 00:18:45,547 --> 00:18:48,483 "The party of the first part shall be known in this contract... 271 00:18:48,550 --> 00:18:50,576 "as the party of the first part." 272 00:18:52,254 --> 00:18:54,621 Sounds a little better this time. 273 00:18:54,723 --> 00:18:57,249 It grows on you. Would you like to hear it once more? 274 00:18:57,325 --> 00:18:59,089 Just the first part. 275 00:18:59,294 --> 00:19:01,229 What? "The party of the first part"? 276 00:19:01,296 --> 00:19:04,596 No. The first part of "the party of the first part." 277 00:19:07,769 --> 00:19:11,206 It says, "The first part of the party of the first part... 278 00:19:11,273 --> 00:19:14,766 "shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party.... 279 00:19:14,843 --> 00:19:16,539 "Shall be known in this contract...." 280 00:19:16,611 --> 00:19:19,376 Why should we quarrel about this? We'll take it out. 281 00:19:19,447 --> 00:19:21,541 Yeah. It's too long anyhow. 282 00:19:22,851 --> 00:19:24,717 Now what do we got left? 283 00:19:24,786 --> 00:19:27,017 I got about a foot-and-a-half. 284 00:19:29,157 --> 00:19:32,491 It says, "The party of the second part shall be known in this contract... 285 00:19:32,561 --> 00:19:34,462 "as the party of the second part." 286 00:19:34,529 --> 00:19:36,498 I don't know about that. 287 00:19:37,265 --> 00:19:40,724 - Now what's the matter? - I don't like the second party either. 288 00:19:40,802 --> 00:19:44,967 You should have come to the first party. We didn't get home till around 4:00 a.m. 289 00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:47,134 I was blind for three days. 290 00:19:47,576 --> 00:19:50,273 Why can't the first part of the second party... 291 00:19:50,345 --> 00:19:53,406 be the second part of the first party? Then you got something. 292 00:19:53,481 --> 00:19:56,508 Look, rather than go through that again, what do you say.... 293 00:19:56,585 --> 00:19:57,678 Fine. 294 00:19:59,020 --> 00:20:02,184 I've got something you're bound to like. You'll be crazy about it. 295 00:20:02,257 --> 00:20:03,657 No. I don't like it. 296 00:20:03,725 --> 00:20:06,354 - You don't like what? - Whatever it is, I don't like it. 297 00:20:06,428 --> 00:20:09,694 Don't let's break up an old friendship over a thing like that. Ready? 298 00:20:09,764 --> 00:20:10,857 Okay. 299 00:20:13,101 --> 00:20:15,593 The next part, I don't think you're going to like. 300 00:20:15,670 --> 00:20:19,402 Your word's good enough for me. Is my word good enough for you? 301 00:20:19,474 --> 00:20:22,774 - I should say not. - That takes out two more clauses. 302 00:20:25,113 --> 00:20:28,208 - "The party of the eighth part...." - No, that's no good. 303 00:20:28,516 --> 00:20:31,975 - "The party of the ninth...." - No, that's no good, too. 304 00:20:32,687 --> 00:20:35,247 How is it my contract is skinnier than yours? 305 00:20:35,323 --> 00:20:38,521 I don't know, you must have been out on a tear last night. 306 00:20:38,593 --> 00:20:40,755 - We're all set now, aren't we? - Sure. 307 00:20:40,829 --> 00:20:45,233 Just you put your name down there, and then the deal is legal. 308 00:20:45,433 --> 00:20:47,265 I forgot to tell you, I can't write. 309 00:20:47,335 --> 00:20:49,668 That's all right, there's no ink in the pen. 310 00:20:49,738 --> 00:20:51,673 - But it's a contract, isn't it? - Sure. 311 00:20:51,740 --> 00:20:54,141 We've got a contract, no matter how small it is. 312 00:20:54,209 --> 00:20:57,077 Wait. What does this say here? 313 00:20:57,145 --> 00:21:00,673 That? That's the usual clause. That's in every contract. 314 00:21:00,782 --> 00:21:04,685 That just says, "If any of the parties... 315 00:21:04,753 --> 00:21:06,483 "participating in this contract... 316 00:21:06,554 --> 00:21:08,614 "are shown not to be in their right mind... 317 00:21:08,690 --> 00:21:11,854 "the entire agreement is automatically nullified." 318 00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:13,628 I don't know. 319 00:21:13,695 --> 00:21:16,062 It's all right. That's in every contract. 320 00:21:16,131 --> 00:21:18,760 That's what they call a sanity clause. 321 00:21:19,634 --> 00:21:22,695 You can't fool me. There ain't no Sanity Claus. 322 00:21:23,371 --> 00:21:25,465 You win the white carnation. 323 00:21:25,807 --> 00:21:28,367 - I'll give this to Riccardo. - ...sensation in New York. 324 00:21:28,443 --> 00:21:30,571 Could you tell me where Signor Lassparri is? 325 00:21:30,645 --> 00:21:32,341 Sure. There's Lassparri. 326 00:21:34,015 --> 00:21:36,075 Lassparri? Then whom did I sign? 327 00:21:36,151 --> 00:21:38,711 You signed Riccardo Baroni. That's my man. 328 00:21:38,787 --> 00:21:40,688 Signor Lassparri, what happened? 329 00:21:40,755 --> 00:21:43,281 Speak to me. It's me, it's Gottlieb. 330 00:21:46,394 --> 00:21:48,022 What is this now? 331 00:21:49,164 --> 00:21:51,133 How early the fruit is falling this season. 332 00:22:04,145 --> 00:22:08,276 - Are you sure you have everything, Otis? - I've never had any complaints yet. 333 00:22:10,785 --> 00:22:13,983 Here you are, on your way to America and fame. 334 00:22:14,055 --> 00:22:17,184 Riccardo, I'm going to miss you. 335 00:22:17,592 --> 00:22:19,322 How do you think I feel about it? 336 00:22:19,494 --> 00:22:21,986 Miss Castaldi, ready for the big trip? 337 00:22:22,063 --> 00:22:25,932 Mr. Gottlieb. This is Riccardo Baroni of the Opera Company. 338 00:22:26,267 --> 00:22:29,237 - How do you do? - Did you say Baroni? 339 00:22:30,739 --> 00:22:32,173 Is it as funny as all that? 340 00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:35,438 Mr. Otis B. Driftwood seems to think you have quite a voice. 341 00:22:35,510 --> 00:22:39,003 He has, Mr. Gottlieb, really he has, a wonderful voice. 342 00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:41,549 - Yes, really I have. - That's interesting. 343 00:22:48,656 --> 00:22:50,955 - Come on, Riccardo. - No, thanks. 344 00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:53,685 Come on, Ricky! 345 00:23:05,774 --> 00:23:07,834 - Signor Lassparri. - Yes? 346 00:23:07,976 --> 00:23:10,810 - Will you give us a farewell song? - Please! 347 00:23:11,746 --> 00:23:12,805 Come on! 348 00:23:12,881 --> 00:23:16,181 My dear friends, I am so sorry, I must be excused... 349 00:23:16,551 --> 00:23:19,282 but I have a slight touch of laryngitis. 350 00:23:19,521 --> 00:23:21,547 - Where's Rosa? - Yes, Rosa! 351 00:23:24,592 --> 00:23:27,255 Why should I sing for them when I'm not being paid for it? 352 00:23:29,097 --> 00:23:31,225 - Please sing. - No. 353 00:23:35,203 --> 00:23:37,172 Yes, of course I'll sing. 354 00:26:02,717 --> 00:26:04,015 Mr. Gottlieb. 355 00:26:04,719 --> 00:26:06,551 Hasn't he a wonderful voice? 356 00:26:07,088 --> 00:26:09,353 There must be a place for him in New York. 357 00:26:09,424 --> 00:26:10,983 Not a bad voice. 358 00:26:11,526 --> 00:26:14,587 Someday, perhaps, when he has made a reputation. 359 00:26:40,088 --> 00:26:41,852 All visitors ashore! 360 00:26:43,891 --> 00:26:44,984 Rosa! 361 00:26:49,931 --> 00:26:51,832 We've come to say goodbye. 362 00:26:53,568 --> 00:26:55,503 All right. Goodbye. Arrivederci. 363 00:26:55,570 --> 00:26:57,004 Come on! 364 00:27:31,539 --> 00:27:34,065 - All right, take it away. - Yes, sir. 365 00:27:37,245 --> 00:27:39,680 Have I got time to go back and pay my hotel bill? 366 00:27:39,747 --> 00:27:42,012 - Sorry. Too late. - That suits me fine. 367 00:28:03,071 --> 00:28:05,131 That's mine. A trunk thief? 368 00:28:05,206 --> 00:28:07,437 - Where you going with that? - Suite number 58, sir. 369 00:28:07,508 --> 00:28:10,239 Fifty-eight? That's me. Let's go. 370 00:28:15,850 --> 00:28:18,820 What's the idea? Hit-and-run driver? 371 00:28:18,886 --> 00:28:20,081 I'm sorry, sir. 372 00:28:20,154 --> 00:28:24,148 Sorry, my eye. Look at that fender. It's all bumped out of shape. 373 00:28:24,225 --> 00:28:27,286 You'll pay for this, my good man. Let me see your number. 374 00:28:27,361 --> 00:28:29,626 Thirty-two? You got any insurance? 375 00:28:29,997 --> 00:28:31,898 - What? - Are you insured? 376 00:28:32,567 --> 00:28:34,798 - No, sir. - You're just the fellow I want to see. 377 00:28:34,869 --> 00:28:38,067 I have an accident policy that protects you no matter what happens. 378 00:28:38,139 --> 00:28:41,405 If you lose a leg, we'll look for it. All this will cost you is.... 379 00:28:41,476 --> 00:28:45,038 What have you got there? $1. Here you are. 380 00:28:49,317 --> 00:28:50,376 Let's go. 381 00:28:51,052 --> 00:28:53,749 Suite 58, and don't go over 20 miles an hour. 382 00:29:03,030 --> 00:29:06,330 Say, was that three fellows or one fellow with three beards? 383 00:29:08,503 --> 00:29:11,132 Hi, Gottlieb, always beating around the bush. 384 00:29:14,675 --> 00:29:16,166 Wait a minute. 385 00:29:23,951 --> 00:29:25,613 Anything I can do? 386 00:29:28,422 --> 00:29:30,653 - Just a little homesick. - That's funny. 387 00:29:30,725 --> 00:29:34,184 I happen to have the greatest prescription for homesickness you ever saw. 388 00:29:34,262 --> 00:29:36,697 A fellow gave it to me just before the boat sailed. 389 00:29:36,764 --> 00:29:40,860 Here's the prescription, and take it every two hours. 390 00:29:47,842 --> 00:29:50,368 I'm going out and getting another prescription. 391 00:30:02,657 --> 00:30:04,853 - Hello, toots. - Hello. 392 00:30:05,226 --> 00:30:08,788 - Say, pretty classy layout you got here. - Do you like it? 393 00:30:10,031 --> 00:30:12,466 Twin beds. You little rascal, you. 394 00:30:13,534 --> 00:30:16,436 - One of those is a day bed. - A likely story. 395 00:30:17,271 --> 00:30:18,830 Have you read any good books lately? 396 00:30:18,906 --> 00:30:22,035 Mr. Driftwood, will you please get off the bed? 397 00:30:22,376 --> 00:30:25,608 - What would people say? - They'd say you're a very lucky woman. 398 00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:27,945 Will you please shut up so I can continue reading? 399 00:30:28,015 --> 00:30:30,917 No, I will not shut up. And will you kindly get up at once? 400 00:30:30,985 --> 00:30:33,454 All right, I'll go. I'll make you another proposition. 401 00:30:33,521 --> 00:30:35,581 Let's go in my room and discuss the situation. 402 00:30:35,656 --> 00:30:38,592 - What situation? - What situations have you got? 403 00:30:38,659 --> 00:30:40,907 I most certainly will not go to your room. 404 00:30:40,971 --> 00:30:42,487 Okay. Then I'll stay here. 405 00:30:46,701 --> 00:30:48,226 All right. 406 00:30:50,171 --> 00:30:52,072 I'll come, but get out. 407 00:30:52,473 --> 00:30:55,238 Shall we say 10 minutes? 408 00:30:55,576 --> 00:30:58,011 Yes, 10 minutes. Anything, but go. 409 00:30:58,112 --> 00:31:01,879 Because if you're not there in 10 minutes, I'll be back here in 11. 410 00:31:01,949 --> 00:31:03,815 With squeaky shoes on. 411 00:31:16,631 --> 00:31:20,693 - Wait a minute. This can't be my room. - Yes, sir. 412 00:31:21,068 --> 00:31:22,627 Suite number 58, sir. 413 00:31:22,703 --> 00:31:26,731 Fifty-eight? That's an awful big number for a birdcage this size. 414 00:31:27,041 --> 00:31:30,409 Wouldn't it be simpler if you just put the stateroom in the trunk? 415 00:31:30,478 --> 00:31:33,778 Say, who is responsible for installing me in this telephone booth? 416 00:31:33,848 --> 00:31:35,908 Mr. Gottlieb picked it out for you, sir. 417 00:31:35,983 --> 00:31:39,385 Gottlieb? That's awfully decent of him. Awfully decent. 418 00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:42,189 Did he pick out the whole room or just the porthole? 419 00:31:42,256 --> 00:31:46,023 - I'm sure you'll find it cozy, sir. - Cozy is hardly the word. 420 00:31:46,093 --> 00:31:47,459 Anything else, sir? 421 00:31:47,528 --> 00:31:50,225 Yes. Tomorrow you can take the trunk out and I'll go in. 422 00:31:50,298 --> 00:31:51,561 Yes, sir. 423 00:32:12,353 --> 00:32:15,221 - Hello, boss. What are you doing here? - Hello. 424 00:32:15,323 --> 00:32:17,224 This makes it a perfect voyage. 425 00:32:17,291 --> 00:32:20,819 - I'm sorry. I thought this was my trunk. - It is your trunk. 426 00:32:20,895 --> 00:32:22,454 I don't remember packing you boys. 427 00:32:22,530 --> 00:32:25,193 Remember Riccardo Baroni, the greatest tenor in the world? 428 00:32:25,266 --> 00:32:26,825 You nearly signed him up once. 429 00:32:26,901 --> 00:32:29,370 Sure. I just delivered a letter for you. How are you? 430 00:32:29,437 --> 00:32:32,100 - Good. Just a little cramped. - We're still in the harbor. 431 00:32:32,173 --> 00:32:35,143 As soon as we get out in the ocean, there'll be plenty of room. 432 00:32:35,209 --> 00:32:38,179 - Isn't that my shirt? - I don't know. I found it in the trunk. 433 00:32:38,245 --> 00:32:40,737 Then it couldn't be mine. It's nice seeing you again. 434 00:32:40,815 --> 00:32:43,284 But I was expecting my other suit. Did you see it? 435 00:32:43,351 --> 00:32:45,718 Yeah. Took up too much room, so we sold it. 436 00:32:45,786 --> 00:32:48,119 - Did you get anything for it? - $1.40. 437 00:32:48,189 --> 00:32:52,456 That's my suit, all right. Say, it's lucky I left another shirt in this drawer. 438 00:32:58,032 --> 00:33:01,127 That can't be my shirt. My shirt doesn't snore. 439 00:33:01,202 --> 00:33:04,366 Don't wake him up. He's got insomnia. He's sleeping it off. 440 00:33:04,438 --> 00:33:07,203 That's as grisly a looking object as I've ever seen. 441 00:33:07,274 --> 00:33:08,970 Get him up out of there. 442 00:33:14,348 --> 00:33:16,317 He certainly is sleeping. 443 00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:21,715 I wish you fellows would explain this thing to me. 444 00:33:21,789 --> 00:33:24,725 It's very simple. You see, Riccardo, he's in love with Rosa. 445 00:33:24,792 --> 00:33:27,421 Rosa, she go to New York. We want to go to New York, too. 446 00:33:27,495 --> 00:33:29,691 But we got no money, so we hide in the trunk. 447 00:33:29,764 --> 00:33:31,665 Without money, what'll you do in New York? 448 00:33:31,732 --> 00:33:33,997 I can sing. There must be some place for me to work. 449 00:33:34,068 --> 00:33:36,401 Besides, I can be near Rosa. That's the main thing. 450 00:33:36,470 --> 00:33:38,371 You won't give us away, will you? 451 00:33:38,439 --> 00:33:40,738 No, but you fellows have got to get out of here. 452 00:33:40,808 --> 00:33:43,243 I've got a date with a lady in a few minutes... 453 00:33:43,310 --> 00:33:46,144 and you know the old saying: "Two's company, five's a crowd." 454 00:33:46,213 --> 00:33:49,672 We go, but we want something to eat. We no eat all day. We're hungry. 455 00:33:49,750 --> 00:33:51,946 We'll discuss the food situation later. 456 00:33:52,019 --> 00:33:54,181 We get food, or we don't go. 457 00:33:54,688 --> 00:33:56,884 I know I never should have met you fellows. 458 00:33:56,957 --> 00:33:59,449 Okay. But promise to scram out after you've eaten. 459 00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:01,324 - All right. - I'll get the steward. 460 00:34:01,395 --> 00:34:03,626 You fellows be quiet. Remember, you're stowaways. 461 00:34:03,697 --> 00:34:05,131 - We no say nothing. - All right. 462 00:34:05,199 --> 00:34:08,727 Now, just put that bag of Jell-O over here. 463 00:34:10,771 --> 00:34:12,831 Wouldn't it be simpler if you had him stuffed? 464 00:34:12,907 --> 00:34:15,900 - He's no olive. - I'll go and get the steward. 465 00:34:17,144 --> 00:34:19,511 Is it the door of the room, or am I in the trunk? 466 00:34:19,580 --> 00:34:20,912 Over here. 467 00:34:22,149 --> 00:34:24,914 Be quiet, now. Don't make any noise. 468 00:34:24,985 --> 00:34:27,784 - We no say nothing. - I'll get the steward. 469 00:34:30,057 --> 00:34:31,719 Steward! 470 00:34:32,460 --> 00:34:33,860 - Stew! - Yes, sir. 471 00:34:33,928 --> 00:34:35,260 - I say, stew.... - Yes, sir. 472 00:34:35,329 --> 00:34:37,093 - What's for dinner? - Anything you like. 473 00:34:37,164 --> 00:34:40,726 You might have tomato juice, orange juice, grape juice, pineapple juice.... 474 00:34:40,801 --> 00:34:43,361 Turn off the juice before I get electrocuted. 475 00:34:43,437 --> 00:34:45,872 All right, let me have one of each. 476 00:34:46,707 --> 00:34:49,199 And two fried eggs, two poached eggs... 477 00:34:49,276 --> 00:34:51,507 two scrambled eggs, and two medium-boiled eggs. 478 00:34:51,579 --> 00:34:53,480 And two hard-boiled eggs. 479 00:34:53,714 --> 00:34:55,410 And two hard-boiled eggs. 480 00:34:56,984 --> 00:34:59,385 Make that three hard-boiled eggs. 481 00:35:00,221 --> 00:35:03,817 And some roast beef: rare, medium, well-done, and overdone. 482 00:35:03,958 --> 00:35:05,859 And two hard-boiled eggs. 483 00:35:09,230 --> 00:35:11,631 Make that three hard-boiled eggs. 484 00:35:12,433 --> 00:35:14,561 And eight pieces of French pastry. 485 00:35:14,902 --> 00:35:17,963 - With two hard-boiled eggs. - And two hard-boiled eggs. 486 00:35:19,874 --> 00:35:22,275 Make that three hard-boiled eggs. 487 00:35:23,777 --> 00:35:25,405 And one duck egg. 488 00:35:26,947 --> 00:35:29,246 - Have you got any stewed prunes? - Yes, sir. 489 00:35:29,316 --> 00:35:31,785 Give them some black coffee. That'll sober them up. 490 00:35:31,852 --> 00:35:33,582 And two hard-boiled eggs. 491 00:35:42,062 --> 00:35:45,430 It's either foggy out, or make that 12 more hard-boiled eggs. 492 00:35:47,001 --> 00:35:50,836 Rush that along. The faster it comes, the faster this convention will be over. 493 00:35:50,905 --> 00:35:51,964 Yes, sir. 494 00:35:52,039 --> 00:35:54,304 - Do they allow tipping on the boat? - Yes, sir! 495 00:35:54,375 --> 00:35:56,435 - Have you got two fives? - Yes, sir. 496 00:35:56,510 --> 00:35:59,674 Then you won't need the 10 cents I was gonna give you. 497 00:36:00,014 --> 00:36:02,643 That's fine. If that steward is deaf and dumb... 498 00:36:02,716 --> 00:36:05,686 - he'll never know you're in here. - That's all right. 499 00:36:05,786 --> 00:36:08,119 - Yes? - We've come to make up your room. 500 00:36:08,289 --> 00:36:11,748 - Are those my hard-boiled eggs? - I can't tell until they get in the room. 501 00:36:11,825 --> 00:36:14,420 Come in, girls. Leave all hope behind. 502 00:36:15,296 --> 00:36:17,891 Work fast because you gotta get out in 10 minutes. 503 00:36:17,965 --> 00:36:20,525 Tomasso. Wake up. They're going to fix the bed. 504 00:36:20,601 --> 00:36:23,298 I'd like two pillows on that bed there. 505 00:36:25,072 --> 00:36:26,870 There's a slight misunderstanding here. 506 00:36:26,941 --> 00:36:29,410 I said the girls had to work fast, not your friend. 507 00:36:29,476 --> 00:36:31,001 He's still asleep. 508 00:36:31,078 --> 00:36:33,309 You know, he does better asleep than I do awake. 509 00:36:33,380 --> 00:36:35,110 Yeah, he always sleeps that way. 510 00:36:35,182 --> 00:36:38,641 - Now he's half-asleep. - Yes, he's half-asleep in a half Nelson. 511 00:36:39,253 --> 00:36:40,744 - All right, come on. - Yes? 512 00:36:40,821 --> 00:36:43,450 I'm the engineer. I'm here to turn off the heat. 513 00:36:43,524 --> 00:36:45,755 You can start right in on him. 514 00:36:45,993 --> 00:36:47,621 Wake up, Tomasso. 515 00:36:48,162 --> 00:36:50,097 Tomasso, we're going to eat soon. 516 00:36:50,164 --> 00:36:53,532 You know, if it wasn't for Gottlieb, I wouldn't have got this room. 517 00:36:53,601 --> 00:36:55,126 Just hold him there a second. 518 00:36:55,202 --> 00:36:56,966 - Yes? - Did you want a manicure? 519 00:36:57,037 --> 00:36:58,471 No. Come on in. 520 00:36:59,773 --> 00:37:02,641 I hadn't planned on a manicure, but on a journey like this... 521 00:37:02,710 --> 00:37:05,441 you ought to have every convenience you can get. 522 00:37:07,314 --> 00:37:10,614 Listen, I'm getting the manicure. Get out of here, will you? 523 00:37:11,252 --> 00:37:13,346 Did you want your nails long or short? 524 00:37:13,420 --> 00:37:17,414 You better make them short. It's getting kind of crowded in here. 525 00:37:17,958 --> 00:37:21,258 I don't know. This isn't the way I pictured an ocean voyage. 526 00:37:21,328 --> 00:37:25,629 I always visualized myself in a steamer chair with a steward bringing me bouillon. 527 00:37:25,699 --> 00:37:26,723 Come on, Riccardo. 528 00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:30,601 You couldn't get bouillon in here unless they brought it in through a keyhole. 529 00:37:33,440 --> 00:37:34,965 I'm the engineer's assistant. 530 00:37:35,042 --> 00:37:37,671 I had a premonition you were going to show up. 531 00:37:37,911 --> 00:37:42,576 The engineer's over there in the corner. You can chop your way right through. 532 00:37:43,250 --> 00:37:46,084 Is it my imagination, or is it getting crowded in here? 533 00:37:46,153 --> 00:37:47,951 I got plenty of room. 534 00:37:50,224 --> 00:37:53,092 - Yes? - Is my Aunt Minnie in here? 535 00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:55,493 You can come in and prowl around if you want to. 536 00:37:55,562 --> 00:37:58,691 If she isn't in here, you can probably find somebody just as good. 537 00:37:58,766 --> 00:38:01,167 - Could I use your phone? - Use the phone? 538 00:38:01,235 --> 00:38:04,433 - I'll lay you even money you can't get in. - How do you do? 539 00:38:04,505 --> 00:38:07,771 This boat will be in New York before you get to that phone. 540 00:38:09,076 --> 00:38:10,374 I came to mop up. 541 00:38:10,444 --> 00:38:12,743 Just the woman I'm looking for. Come right ahead. 542 00:38:13,347 --> 00:38:17,114 You have to start on the ceiling. It's the only place that's not occupied. 543 00:38:17,184 --> 00:38:20,018 - You can clean my shoes if you want to. - Operator. 544 00:38:20,220 --> 00:38:23,122 Tell Aunt Minnie to send up a bigger room, will you? 545 00:38:25,459 --> 00:38:27,792 - Steward. - Come right ahead. 546 00:38:27,861 --> 00:38:31,195 - The food! - We've been waiting all afternoon for you. 547 00:38:31,265 --> 00:38:33,097 I want my Aunt Minnie! 548 00:38:54,888 --> 00:38:56,789 Ladies and gentlemen... 549 00:38:57,024 --> 00:39:01,655 it's with great pleasure I welcome you all on this, the final night of the voyage. 550 00:39:02,529 --> 00:39:04,293 I cannot let the evening pass... 551 00:39:04,365 --> 00:39:08,700 without paying a little tribute to our distinguished guests of honor: 552 00:39:09,069 --> 00:39:11,868 the three greatest aviators in the world. 553 00:39:14,341 --> 00:39:17,402 Three greatest aviators, but notice they're traveling by boat. 554 00:39:17,511 --> 00:39:19,980 We are honored by your presence, gentlemen. 555 00:39:20,147 --> 00:39:22,446 - Thank you. - Thank you, Captain. 556 00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:29,822 - Do you rumba? - Why, yes. Of course I do. 557 00:39:30,124 --> 00:39:32,025 Take a rumba from one to ten. 558 00:39:34,461 --> 00:39:37,556 Mr. Claypool went to his reward three years ago. 559 00:39:37,664 --> 00:39:41,499 - And left you all alone. - All alone. 560 00:39:41,668 --> 00:39:43,830 With $8 million. 561 00:39:44,304 --> 00:39:45,932 $8 million. 562 00:39:46,006 --> 00:39:48,066 Gottlieb, you're just wasting your time. 563 00:39:48,142 --> 00:39:51,112 If Mrs. Claypool wants to marry a fortune hunter, she's got me. 564 00:39:51,178 --> 00:39:52,339 Fortune hunter? 565 00:39:52,413 --> 00:39:54,939 As a matter of fact, you can't call me a fortune hunter. 566 00:39:55,015 --> 00:39:58,179 Because when I proposed to her, I thought she only had $7 million. 567 00:39:58,252 --> 00:40:01,450 But the extra million has never interfered with my feelings for her. 568 00:40:01,522 --> 00:40:03,150 If you had any real feeling for me... 569 00:40:03,223 --> 00:40:06,125 you'd stop associating with the riffraff I've seen you with. 570 00:40:06,193 --> 00:40:07,456 You mean Gottlieb? 571 00:40:07,528 --> 00:40:11,056 I mean those two uncouth men I saw you around the opera house with. 572 00:40:11,131 --> 00:40:13,396 I'm grateful they're not on board the boat. 573 00:40:13,467 --> 00:40:16,096 - Why, have they slipped off? - Sit down. 574 00:40:24,278 --> 00:40:26,179 Come on, we find something to eat. 575 00:40:26,246 --> 00:40:28,841 You think it's safe? If they catch us, they'll deport us. 576 00:40:28,916 --> 00:40:31,408 What will we lose? If we're deported, they'll feed us. 577 00:40:31,485 --> 00:40:33,386 Come on, we'll take a chance. 578 00:40:34,655 --> 00:40:37,750 Does it mean nothing to you that I'm the world's greatest singer? 579 00:40:37,825 --> 00:40:40,886 - But I love to hear you sing, Rodolfo. - No. 580 00:40:42,296 --> 00:40:44,390 Let me put it this way. I love you. 581 00:40:44,465 --> 00:40:46,559 I adore you. I would die for you. 582 00:40:47,100 --> 00:40:50,434 - Now do you understand? - I'm afraid I don't. 583 00:40:50,804 --> 00:40:52,397 The whole thing is very simple. 584 00:40:52,473 --> 00:40:55,375 When he says he's the greatest singer, it means he loves you. 585 00:40:55,442 --> 00:40:58,241 Personally, I don't believe either statement. 586 00:40:58,479 --> 00:41:01,176 There may be something in what you say. 587 00:41:01,248 --> 00:41:03,308 I'll tell you something confidentially. 588 00:41:03,383 --> 00:41:06,581 The only tenor I could ever stand was a fellow by the name... 589 00:41:06,653 --> 00:41:08,349 of Riccardo Baroni. 590 00:41:08,422 --> 00:41:11,324 - Ever hear of him? - Riccardo. 591 00:41:11,859 --> 00:41:14,158 I wonder where he is right now. 592 00:41:14,228 --> 00:41:17,323 Probably roaming over the countryside someplace. 593 00:41:17,531 --> 00:41:22,060 Riccardo always loved the open. He never could stand being cooped up. 594 00:41:22,302 --> 00:41:24,294 He still doesn't like it. 595 00:42:29,736 --> 00:42:33,639 Tomasso, you feel better now? And, you, Riccardo, how do you feel? 596 00:42:33,707 --> 00:42:36,677 After a meal like that? Great. I could sing my head off. 597 00:42:36,743 --> 00:42:38,143 That's the spirit. 598 00:42:50,123 --> 00:42:52,388 Stop that! Get away from those instruments! 599 00:42:52,459 --> 00:42:54,553 - What are you doing here? - Please let him play. 600 00:42:54,628 --> 00:42:56,859 Let him play. 601 00:42:59,333 --> 00:43:01,928 It's all right with me. Let him play. 602 00:52:23,463 --> 00:52:25,295 Those men can't be passengers on this boat. 603 00:52:25,365 --> 00:52:29,359 - They must be stowaways. - Stowaways? We'll soon find out. 604 00:53:26,426 --> 00:53:28,691 What are you.... Are you crazy? 605 00:53:52,285 --> 00:53:56,017 You got it. Fine. Now you go first and see if it's safe. 606 00:53:56,089 --> 00:53:59,218 Come on. Hold on. Out you go. 607 00:54:21,981 --> 00:54:24,815 You're all right, but the boat's too far away. 608 00:54:41,000 --> 00:54:42,628 What's he doing now? 609 00:54:43,002 --> 00:54:44,595 I think he's hanging himself. 610 00:55:54,240 --> 00:55:57,267 - Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to-- - Quiet. 611 00:55:57,343 --> 00:56:00,905 Our guests have asked me to represent them and to act as their interpreter. 612 00:56:00,980 --> 00:56:03,211 If you'll follow me, I'll take you to their cabin. 613 00:56:03,282 --> 00:56:06,650 If they're still in it, very few of us will come out alive. 614 00:56:16,028 --> 00:56:18,623 Pardon me. Our guests are having their shredded wheat. 615 00:56:18,698 --> 00:56:20,132 They'll be right out. 616 00:56:24,670 --> 00:56:26,002 Gentlemen. 617 00:56:28,941 --> 00:56:31,672 - "Kind friends--" - Give me that. Let's cut this short. 618 00:56:31,744 --> 00:56:34,441 The whole thing is very simple. You're going to City Hall. 619 00:56:34,514 --> 00:56:36,107 The Mayor's gonna make another speech. 620 00:56:36,182 --> 00:56:38,515 We can tear up the Mayor's speech when we get there. 621 00:56:41,421 --> 00:56:44,289 So, my friends, as mayor of this great city... 622 00:56:44,490 --> 00:56:47,517 I take pleasure in inviting our distinguished visitors... 623 00:56:47,593 --> 00:56:49,892 to tell us something about their achievement. 624 00:56:55,968 --> 00:56:57,197 What'll I say? 625 00:56:57,270 --> 00:57:00,001 - Tell them you're not here. - Suppose they don't believe me? 626 00:57:00,072 --> 00:57:02,268 They'll believe you when you start talking. 627 00:57:06,145 --> 00:57:07,204 Friends.... 628 00:57:07,280 --> 00:57:09,840 Talk fast. I see a man in the crowd with a rope. 629 00:57:10,516 --> 00:57:14,419 How we happen to come to America is a great story, but I no tell that. 630 00:57:14,554 --> 00:57:15,954 When we first started out... 631 00:57:16,022 --> 00:57:19,288 we got no idea you give us this grand reception. 632 00:57:19,725 --> 00:57:21,387 We don't deserve it. 633 00:57:21,461 --> 00:57:23,327 When I say we don't deserve it... 634 00:57:23,396 --> 00:57:25,456 believe me, I know what I'm talking about. 635 00:57:25,531 --> 00:57:27,261 That's a novelty. 636 00:57:27,834 --> 00:57:29,769 Now I tell you how we fly to America. 637 00:57:30,036 --> 00:57:33,268 The first time, we get halfway across when we run out of gasoline. 638 00:57:33,339 --> 00:57:34,739 We got to go back. 639 00:57:34,807 --> 00:57:36,901 Then I take twice as much gasoline. 640 00:57:36,976 --> 00:57:39,707 This time, we were just about to land, maybe 3 feet... 641 00:57:39,779 --> 00:57:42,248 when, what do you think, we run out of gasoline again. 642 00:57:42,315 --> 00:57:44,648 Back we go and get more gas. 643 00:57:44,717 --> 00:57:47,243 This time, I take plenty gas. 644 00:57:48,488 --> 00:57:51,481 We get halfway over, when what do you think happened? 645 00:57:51,557 --> 00:57:53,185 We forgot the airplane. 646 00:57:53,259 --> 00:57:55,660 So we sit down and talk it over. 647 00:57:55,728 --> 00:57:57,594 Then I get the great idea... 648 00:57:57,763 --> 00:58:01,165 we no take gasoline. We no take the airplane. 649 00:58:01,601 --> 00:58:03,365 We take steamship. 650 00:58:03,436 --> 00:58:06,736 And that, friends, is how we fly across the ocean. 651 00:58:09,442 --> 00:58:11,377 I'm going out to arrange your bail. 652 00:58:12,278 --> 00:58:14,042 This is the mayor again. 653 00:58:14,113 --> 00:58:18,346 And now I take great pleasure in introducing another of our heroes... 654 00:58:18,451 --> 00:58:21,353 who will tell you something of his exploits. 655 00:58:23,055 --> 00:58:24,148 Of course. 656 00:58:24,223 --> 00:58:26,692 From now on, it's every man for himself. 657 00:58:26,759 --> 00:58:30,958 I would suggest you make your speech a little more direct than your brother's. 658 00:58:34,500 --> 00:58:37,265 What will you give me to set fire to your beard? 659 00:59:06,098 --> 00:59:09,660 We're all right as long as the water supply holds out. 660 00:59:14,674 --> 00:59:16,973 Please, the radio. Your speech. 661 00:59:23,149 --> 00:59:26,085 They may have to build a dam in the back of him. 662 00:59:40,666 --> 00:59:42,760 I think these fellas are phonies. 663 00:59:42,835 --> 00:59:44,701 - What's that you say? - You heard me. 664 00:59:51,344 --> 00:59:52,403 You hear what they say? 665 00:59:52,478 --> 00:59:55,346 They've never been so insulted, and they refuse to stay. 666 00:59:55,414 --> 00:59:58,907 No, please. Tell them he didn't mean it. 667 01:00:06,325 --> 01:00:08,556 Of course, you know this means war. 668 01:00:10,162 --> 01:00:11,630 Now see what you've done. 669 01:00:11,697 --> 01:00:14,064 I'm sorry. I'm awful sorry. 670 01:00:16,168 --> 01:00:19,104 I apologize, and I hope you're not offended. 671 01:00:25,211 --> 01:00:27,407 Go on! After him! 672 01:00:27,480 --> 01:00:29,278 Come on, get him. 673 01:00:38,090 --> 01:00:40,457 What are you singing about? Read this. 674 01:00:43,763 --> 01:00:45,129 What will you do? 675 01:00:45,197 --> 01:00:49,362 First, I'll throw those two gorillas out. That goes for you, too. 676 01:00:49,568 --> 01:00:52,163 Thought I got rid of those mugs when I sold my trunk. 677 01:00:56,842 --> 01:00:59,812 Kiddies, come on, everything is piping hot. 678 01:01:00,179 --> 01:01:01,545 Breakfast. 679 01:01:02,481 --> 01:01:05,474 Good morning. Oh, boy, I'm hungry. 680 01:01:05,951 --> 01:01:08,182 Read that. That will take away your appetite. 681 01:01:08,988 --> 01:01:11,219 No. That only makes me hungrier. 682 01:01:11,290 --> 01:01:14,124 Come on. You're going to be late for jail. 683 01:01:16,362 --> 01:01:18,524 Those certainly went like hot cakes. 684 01:01:20,666 --> 01:01:23,534 You know, this isn't the way I anticipated my breakfast. 685 01:01:24,570 --> 01:01:26,835 I'm certainly getting enough of you fellas. 686 01:01:27,506 --> 01:01:29,771 - I no like cupcakes. - No. 687 01:01:30,576 --> 01:01:31,976 I know when I've had enough.... 688 01:01:32,044 --> 01:01:35,310 Say, wait a minute. That was a two-bit cigar. 689 01:01:37,083 --> 01:01:40,212 Bad enough I have to smoke those things without eating them. 690 01:01:42,655 --> 01:01:43,884 Get out. 691 01:01:45,357 --> 01:01:47,087 Glad I didn't bring my vest. 692 01:01:47,159 --> 01:01:50,288 I forgot to tell you. He ate your vest last night for dessert. 693 01:01:50,362 --> 01:01:51,421 He's half goat. 694 01:01:51,497 --> 01:01:54,331 Yes, and that's giving him all the best of it. 695 01:01:59,271 --> 01:02:01,365 Thought I had another cigar on me. 696 01:02:06,645 --> 01:02:10,138 He's going to smell like a vegetable salad when he gets through with that. 697 01:02:11,117 --> 01:02:14,713 I've been looking forward to this breakfast. I've been waiting all morning. 698 01:02:14,787 --> 01:02:16,756 This is how it wound up. 699 01:02:26,232 --> 01:02:29,066 - I'll take a quart. - A little of that, anyway. 700 01:02:33,773 --> 01:02:37,301 Why don't you fellows be nice? Get out of here before I get arrested. 701 01:02:37,376 --> 01:02:39,675 I'd like to stay and see that. 702 01:02:40,880 --> 01:02:42,280 What's that? 703 01:02:43,749 --> 01:02:45,775 If it's a policeman, knock once more. 704 01:02:46,452 --> 01:02:49,047 - That's good enough for me. - Scram, get out. 705 01:02:51,991 --> 01:02:53,220 Come in. 706 01:03:05,838 --> 01:03:08,000 - Yes? - You remember me. 707 01:03:08,073 --> 01:03:10,304 I'm Henderson, plainclothesman. 708 01:03:10,476 --> 01:03:12,775 You look more like an old clothes man to me. 709 01:03:14,780 --> 01:03:17,306 - Nice place. - It's comfortable. 710 01:03:18,384 --> 01:03:20,216 You live here all alone? 711 01:03:20,386 --> 01:03:22,287 Yes. Just me and my memories. 712 01:03:22,354 --> 01:03:25,722 - I'm practically a hermit. - A hermit. 713 01:03:26,458 --> 01:03:28,552 I notice the table is set for four. 714 01:03:28,627 --> 01:03:30,858 That's nothing. My alarm clock is set for 8:00. 715 01:03:30,930 --> 01:03:32,728 That doesn't prove a thing. 716 01:03:32,798 --> 01:03:34,164 A wise guy. 717 01:03:35,301 --> 01:03:37,600 I'll take a little look around. 718 01:03:43,509 --> 01:03:45,137 - Hey, you. - Coming. 719 01:03:46,478 --> 01:03:49,448 What's a hermit doing with four beds? 720 01:03:49,748 --> 01:03:51,683 - You see those first three beds? - Yes. 721 01:03:51,750 --> 01:03:54,345 Last night, I counted 5,000 sheep on those beds. 722 01:03:54,420 --> 01:03:55,854 So I had to have another bed. 723 01:03:55,921 --> 01:03:58,584 You wouldn't want me to sleep with the sheep, would you? 724 01:04:07,466 --> 01:04:09,662 - Who are you talking to? - I was talking to myself. 725 01:04:09,735 --> 01:04:11,260 There's nothing you can do about it. 726 01:04:11,337 --> 01:04:14,899 - I've had three of the best doctors. - I certainly heard somebody talk. 727 01:04:14,974 --> 01:04:16,966 - Sheer folly on your part. - What's this? 728 01:04:17,042 --> 01:04:18,772 That's a fire escape. 729 01:04:18,878 --> 01:04:20,972 That's a table. This is a room. 730 01:04:21,046 --> 01:04:23,538 There's the door leading out. I wish you would use it. 731 01:04:23,616 --> 01:04:27,018 - I want to be alone. - You'll be alone when I throw you in jail. 732 01:04:27,086 --> 01:04:29,715 Isn't there a song like that, Henderson? 733 01:04:30,990 --> 01:04:32,982 Look out. He's coming around the other way. 734 01:04:33,058 --> 01:04:34,492 Get inside, quick. 735 01:04:35,394 --> 01:04:38,330 It means a stretch at the big house if he catches you. 736 01:04:38,397 --> 01:04:39,660 Don't let him catch you. 737 01:04:39,732 --> 01:04:41,098 - Hey, you! - Coming. 738 01:04:41,767 --> 01:04:43,463 What became of that fourth bed? 739 01:04:43,535 --> 01:04:45,094 What are you referring to, Colonel? 740 01:04:45,170 --> 01:04:48,197 Last time I was in this room, there were four beds here. 741 01:04:48,274 --> 01:04:51,676 Please. I'm not interested in your private life, Henderson. 742 01:04:56,248 --> 01:04:58,080 Say, what's that bed doing here? 743 01:04:58,150 --> 01:04:59,743 I don't see it doing anything. 744 01:04:59,818 --> 01:05:03,585 There's something funny going on here. But I'll get to the bottom of it. 745 01:05:03,656 --> 01:05:05,022 Stairs right there. 746 01:05:05,090 --> 01:05:06,080 Look out! 747 01:05:08,694 --> 01:05:10,959 - Be on your guard. - Hey, you! 748 01:05:11,030 --> 01:05:12,089 Coming. 749 01:05:12,164 --> 01:05:15,464 Am I crazy, or are there only two beds here? 750 01:05:15,834 --> 01:05:18,463 Which question do you want me to answer first? 751 01:05:24,043 --> 01:05:26,137 How did those two beds get together? 752 01:05:26,211 --> 01:05:29,010 You know how those things are. They breed like rabbits. 753 01:05:29,081 --> 01:05:30,640 Let me tell you something. 754 01:05:30,716 --> 01:05:33,345 I'll solve this if I have to stay here all night. 755 01:05:33,419 --> 01:05:36,753 - If you stay, you'll have to bring a bed. - One bed! 756 01:05:36,822 --> 01:05:39,314 One bed? What are you talking about? 757 01:05:46,098 --> 01:05:49,557 Now they're all gone. I know I am crazy. 758 01:06:09,254 --> 01:06:11,917 I beg your pardon, I must be in the wrong room. 759 01:06:31,176 --> 01:06:33,645 You thought you could come to America without me? 760 01:06:33,712 --> 01:06:36,739 You fool. You dear fool. 761 01:06:36,815 --> 01:06:40,547 Because I love you, you call me a fool. There may be something in that. 762 01:06:40,619 --> 01:06:43,214 - What are you doing here? - Easiest thing in the world. 763 01:06:43,288 --> 01:06:45,280 An open window, a detective, and here I am. 764 01:06:45,357 --> 01:06:47,292 Riccardo, you shouldn't have. 765 01:06:47,926 --> 01:06:49,861 They'll only send you back again. 766 01:06:50,029 --> 01:06:53,431 - Perhaps even put you in jail. - I don't care, darling. It's worth it. 767 01:06:53,499 --> 01:06:56,936 Suppose I go to Mr. Gottlieb. Maybe he'd intercede for you. 768 01:06:57,002 --> 01:07:00,302 Gottlieb couldn't do anything. Besides, Lassparri's got to him first. 769 01:07:00,372 --> 01:07:02,238 But there must be something we can do. 770 01:07:04,076 --> 01:07:06,875 - Who is it? - It is I. Rodolfo. 771 01:07:15,387 --> 01:07:16,616 Come in. 772 01:07:19,391 --> 01:07:20,689 Do you mind my dropping down? 773 01:07:20,759 --> 01:07:25,390 No, of course not. Only, I was just going to take a nap. 774 01:07:26,098 --> 01:07:28,829 - Rosa, why do you do this to me? - Do what, Rodolfo? 775 01:07:28,901 --> 01:07:31,166 Whenever I want to see you, you make some excuse. 776 01:07:31,236 --> 01:07:34,570 You will not dine with me, ride with me, or even take a walk with me. 777 01:07:34,640 --> 01:07:37,872 But, Rodolfo, you know how busy I am. 778 01:07:37,943 --> 01:07:39,707 My debut in America. 779 01:07:40,145 --> 01:07:42,171 Have you forgotten that it was I... 780 01:07:42,247 --> 01:07:45,217 who brought about your debut in America? 781 01:07:45,284 --> 01:07:47,685 No, I haven't forgotten. 782 01:07:48,520 --> 01:07:50,819 Then why do you treat me this way? 783 01:07:50,989 --> 01:07:53,584 Rodolfo, I must ask you to leave. 784 01:07:53,759 --> 01:07:56,456 Come now, my dear. Be sensible. 785 01:07:56,628 --> 01:07:59,496 If you ask me, I think she's being very sensible. 786 01:08:00,199 --> 01:08:01,258 Baroni. 787 01:08:03,735 --> 01:08:05,260 Now I understand. 788 01:08:05,904 --> 01:08:08,806 You did not tell me you had a previous engagement. 789 01:08:08,874 --> 01:08:10,103 Now you know it. 790 01:08:10,175 --> 01:08:11,666 And I apologize. 791 01:08:11,743 --> 01:08:13,974 Now, permit me to withdraw. 792 01:08:14,246 --> 01:08:17,239 In a boudoir, two are company, three a crowd. 793 01:08:17,449 --> 01:08:19,782 - Just what do you mean by that? - Please, Riccardo. 794 01:08:19,852 --> 01:08:21,616 Surely I have made my meaning clear. 795 01:08:21,687 --> 01:08:23,178 Riccardo! 796 01:08:25,257 --> 01:08:26,885 You have not heard the end of this. 797 01:08:26,959 --> 01:08:29,758 - I'm sure I haven't. - You may be very sure. 798 01:08:34,399 --> 01:08:37,028 - Good afternoon, Mr. Driftwood. - Good afternoon. 799 01:08:37,102 --> 01:08:39,264 - Ready for the opening tonight? - Am I? 800 01:08:45,110 --> 01:08:47,579 That's all right, boys. I was young myself once. 801 01:08:47,646 --> 01:08:48,841 Thank you. 802 01:08:50,782 --> 01:08:52,341 Good morning, Mr. Driftwood. 803 01:08:52,417 --> 01:08:55,512 - How are all my songbirds? - Fine. 804 01:08:55,587 --> 01:08:57,522 Splendid. Sing well tonight, now. 805 01:09:01,260 --> 01:09:03,286 Waiting for you, Mr. Driftwood. Step right in. 806 01:09:03,362 --> 01:09:04,796 Thank you, Otto. 807 01:09:04,863 --> 01:09:07,560 - Nice day, isn't it? - It has its points. 808 01:09:09,601 --> 01:09:10,728 Here you are, sir. 809 01:09:10,802 --> 01:09:13,738 - Thank you, Otto. - That's all right, Mr. Driftwood. 810 01:09:14,606 --> 01:09:17,166 What's all this? What's going on here? 811 01:09:17,242 --> 01:09:19,211 You mean, what's coming off here? 812 01:09:19,278 --> 01:09:21,577 - You can't do that. - Wanna bet? 813 01:09:22,614 --> 01:09:24,207 But that's my office. 814 01:09:24,283 --> 01:09:26,946 I'm taking orders from Mr. Gottlieb. Go see him about it. 815 01:09:27,019 --> 01:09:30,456 I'll see Mr. Gottlieb, and I'll break you, my fine fellow. 816 01:09:30,522 --> 01:09:32,388 Go see Mr. Gottlieb. 817 01:09:33,692 --> 01:09:37,288 What's the meaning of this? If you think that I'm going to.... 818 01:09:37,996 --> 01:09:40,591 If you're busy, I'll return later. 819 01:09:40,666 --> 01:09:43,795 Just a minute, Mr. Driftwood. We have some news for you. 820 01:09:43,869 --> 01:09:45,167 News? For me? 821 01:09:45,237 --> 01:09:49,436 Mrs. Claypool has decided to dispense with your services immediately. 822 01:09:49,508 --> 01:09:51,977 Dispense with my services? She hasn't even had them. 823 01:09:52,044 --> 01:09:55,139 I warned you, if you continued to associate with those men... 824 01:09:55,214 --> 01:09:57,376 everything would be over between us. 825 01:09:57,449 --> 01:09:59,350 And you've been associating with them. 826 01:09:59,418 --> 01:10:01,387 How do you know? You couldn't find them. 827 01:10:02,287 --> 01:10:04,813 You've disgraced me, and the entire Opera Company. 828 01:10:04,890 --> 01:10:07,155 As Mrs. Claypool's new business manager... 829 01:10:07,226 --> 01:10:09,559 I must request you to get out and stay out. 830 01:10:09,628 --> 01:10:12,598 Just a minute. You can't fire me without two weeks' salary. 831 01:10:12,664 --> 01:10:14,599 That's in section 10-A of my contract. 832 01:10:14,666 --> 01:10:18,933 I find that you have overdrawn your salary for the next six months. 833 01:10:19,004 --> 01:10:23,032 - In that case, I'll take one week's salary. - You'll take nothing. Get out. 834 01:10:23,408 --> 01:10:26,970 If that's your best offer, I'll get out, but I'm not making a nickel on it. 835 01:10:27,045 --> 01:10:30,311 As for you, Mrs. Claypool, I withdraw my offer of marriage. 836 01:10:32,117 --> 01:10:34,211 And that goes for you, too. 837 01:10:36,388 --> 01:10:38,914 The thanks I get for working my fingers to the bone. 838 01:10:38,991 --> 01:10:41,358 - All right, Otto. - Just a minute. 839 01:10:42,461 --> 01:10:45,295 This car is for officials. Take the stairs. 840 01:10:45,964 --> 01:10:47,557 - The stairs? - Yeah. 841 01:10:48,667 --> 01:10:52,035 Why, that's four flights. I can't walk all that distance. 842 01:10:52,104 --> 01:10:54,096 All right. I'll help you. 843 01:11:19,031 --> 01:11:21,830 - Now there's room. - That's all I needed. 844 01:11:22,434 --> 01:11:24,403 I'm certainly glad I met you boys. 845 01:11:24,469 --> 01:11:27,530 First you get me fired, then you get me thrown out of my hotel... 846 01:11:27,606 --> 01:11:29,802 and finally you push me off a park bench. 847 01:11:30,042 --> 01:11:33,570 There's one consolation. Nothing more can happen to me. 848 01:11:34,646 --> 01:11:36,444 Get off of the grass. 849 01:11:38,150 --> 01:11:39,550 I was wrong. 850 01:11:43,855 --> 01:11:46,256 People drink too much water, anyhow. 851 01:11:46,458 --> 01:11:48,324 I'm certainly glad you came along. 852 01:11:48,860 --> 01:11:52,991 When I met you boys, I had a good job and was about to marry a rich widow. 853 01:11:53,065 --> 01:11:54,966 Now I can't even sit on the grass. 854 01:11:55,033 --> 01:11:57,332 I'd give you my seat, but I'm sitting here. 855 01:11:57,402 --> 01:12:00,804 That's an offer. I'd like to think it over for a couple of days. 856 01:12:01,039 --> 01:12:02,507 Where can I find you? 857 01:12:02,574 --> 01:12:04,907 Don't worry. Wherever you are, you'll find us. 858 01:12:05,143 --> 01:12:08,079 I'm sick of that. Let's meet somewhere else. 859 01:12:09,915 --> 01:12:11,247 It's Rosa. 860 01:12:14,086 --> 01:12:16,487 At least I can get my bench back. 861 01:12:16,955 --> 01:12:19,151 Don't feel so badly, Riccardo. 862 01:12:20,125 --> 01:12:22,924 I can't feel cheerful about being such a hoodoo to you. 863 01:12:22,994 --> 01:12:25,054 We all make things bad for you. 864 01:12:31,603 --> 01:12:32,764 What's the matter? 865 01:12:32,838 --> 01:12:36,036 What do you think? Lassparri. He'll get Rosa fired. 866 01:12:36,241 --> 01:12:38,403 - Lassparri? - He won't let her sing tonight. 867 01:12:38,477 --> 01:12:40,343 What do you know about that? 868 01:12:40,412 --> 01:12:43,109 We've got all day to think of some plan. 869 01:12:43,181 --> 01:12:45,810 And believe me, the way I think, it'll take all day. 870 01:12:55,827 --> 01:12:57,295 - Good evening, Tim. - Good evening. 871 01:12:57,362 --> 01:12:58,421 Plenty for you tonight. 872 01:12:58,497 --> 01:13:00,659 - Thank you. - You're welcome, sir. 873 01:13:18,183 --> 01:13:20,015 What does this mean? 874 01:13:20,519 --> 01:13:22,147 Just the man I want to see. 875 01:13:22,254 --> 01:13:25,554 Gottlieb, these are the worst cigars I ever smoked. 876 01:13:25,624 --> 01:13:28,059 Yes, and your ice isn't cold enough, either. 877 01:13:28,126 --> 01:13:31,585 Get out of here, all of you. I shall send for the police. 878 01:13:31,663 --> 01:13:34,599 Just a minute. I'll tell you what we came here for. 879 01:13:35,233 --> 01:13:36,792 We make you a proposition. 880 01:13:37,102 --> 01:13:39,628 So you're willing to give yourselves up? 881 01:13:39,704 --> 01:13:41,502 Yes, if you let Rosa sing. 882 01:13:41,573 --> 01:13:44,668 I'm managing director, and Rosa does not sing. 883 01:13:44,743 --> 01:13:46,735 But the rest of your proposition... 884 01:13:46,812 --> 01:13:50,579 giving yourselves up, that rather appeals to me. 885 01:13:52,684 --> 01:13:56,212 Give me police headquarters. Sergeant Henderson, please. 886 01:14:23,548 --> 01:14:24,948 Hello, toots. 887 01:14:25,650 --> 01:14:28,017 What are you doing here? This is Mr. Gottlieb's box. 888 01:14:28,086 --> 01:14:30,078 He couldn't come, so he gave me his ticket. 889 01:14:30,155 --> 01:14:33,148 And he couldn't get dressed, so he gave me his clothes. 890 01:14:35,060 --> 01:14:37,586 Shorty, will you toss up that kelly? 891 01:14:40,799 --> 01:14:42,563 Attaboy. Here. 892 01:14:43,768 --> 01:14:45,566 Get yourself a stogy. 893 01:14:48,173 --> 01:14:49,402 Who's ahead? 894 01:14:50,108 --> 01:14:51,542 Open the door. 895 01:14:59,351 --> 01:15:01,252 Get me police headquarters. 896 01:15:02,854 --> 01:15:05,483 Mrs. Claypool, have you seen Mr. Gottlieb? 897 01:15:05,557 --> 01:15:06,957 No. Isn't he backstage? 898 01:15:07,025 --> 01:15:09,017 He's disappeared. We can't find him anywhere. 899 01:15:09,094 --> 01:15:10,653 You didn't look in the right place. 900 01:15:10,729 --> 01:15:13,028 He was to make a speech before the curtain went up. 901 01:15:15,767 --> 01:15:17,963 That's the cue. You'd better say something. 902 01:15:18,036 --> 01:15:19,766 But I never made a speech in my life. 903 01:15:19,838 --> 01:15:22,467 - All right, I'll take care of it. - You? 904 01:15:23,375 --> 01:15:25,241 Ladies and gentlemen.... 905 01:15:25,443 --> 01:15:27,378 I guess that takes in most of you. 906 01:15:27,445 --> 01:15:29,641 This is the opening of a new opera season. 907 01:15:29,714 --> 01:15:33,515 A season made possible by the generous checks of Mrs. Claypool. 908 01:15:39,958 --> 01:15:43,793 I'm sure the familiar strains of Verdi's music will come back to you tonight... 909 01:15:43,862 --> 01:15:47,162 and Mrs. Claypool's checks will probably come back in the morning. 910 01:15:49,200 --> 01:15:52,637 Tonight marks the American debut of Rodolfo Lassparri. 911 01:15:55,273 --> 01:15:58,072 Signor Lassparri comes from a very famous family. 912 01:15:58,143 --> 01:16:00,510 His mother was a well-known bass singer. 913 01:16:00,579 --> 01:16:04,277 His father was the first man to stuff spaghetti with bicarbonate of soda... 914 01:16:04,349 --> 01:16:07,513 thus causing and curing indigestion at the same time. 915 01:16:12,757 --> 01:16:15,784 Now, on with the opera. Let joy be unconfined. 916 01:16:15,860 --> 01:16:17,624 Let there be dancing in the streets... 917 01:16:17,696 --> 01:16:20,165 drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor. 918 01:16:20,231 --> 01:16:21,231 Play, Don. 919 01:16:31,643 --> 01:16:33,407 I'll take this side. 920 01:16:37,716 --> 01:16:38,979 It's none of my business... 921 01:16:39,050 --> 01:16:42,020 but I think there's a brace of woodpeckers in the orchestra. 922 01:17:00,872 --> 01:17:03,034 Don't give up, boys. The cavalry is coming. 923 01:17:08,747 --> 01:17:10,978 - I'll see you later. - What are you doing? 924 01:17:11,049 --> 01:17:13,314 It's all right. It's just the Tarzan in me. 925 01:17:18,123 --> 01:17:19,819 That schweinhund. 926 01:18:30,462 --> 01:18:33,557 Peanuts! Get your fresh roasted peanuts, folks! 927 01:18:34,299 --> 01:18:37,531 They're nice and hot! Get your peanuts! 928 01:18:37,736 --> 01:18:39,967 Here you are! 929 01:18:51,316 --> 01:18:52,978 There you are, you.... 930 01:18:55,587 --> 01:18:56,953 What are you laughing at? 931 01:18:57,021 --> 01:18:59,217 - Those clothes don't fit you. - Why you.... 932 01:19:03,495 --> 01:19:06,329 You're getting to be a good shot, Tomasso. 933 01:19:06,798 --> 01:19:09,427 The opera starts. Now we really go to work. 934 01:19:13,838 --> 01:19:15,466 The curtain's up. 935 01:19:19,878 --> 01:19:21,608 - They've started. - Now, don't worry. 936 01:19:21,679 --> 01:19:23,648 Someone open the door here! 937 01:19:24,783 --> 01:19:26,149 Let me out of here! 938 01:19:28,353 --> 01:19:29,616 Herr Gottlieb. 939 01:19:29,954 --> 01:19:32,389 - Where are they? Where did they go? - What? 940 01:19:32,457 --> 01:19:34,187 "What," he asks me. 941 01:19:37,996 --> 01:19:40,431 - Did a couple of men come up here? - What? 942 01:19:40,532 --> 01:19:42,694 "What?" All I get is "what." 943 01:19:56,648 --> 01:19:58,742 How would you like to feel the way she looks? 944 01:19:59,784 --> 01:20:01,844 That is Driftwood's voice. 945 01:20:01,920 --> 01:20:04,947 - I want him put out of the opera house. - Yes, sir. 946 01:20:22,140 --> 01:20:24,166 That's right. You go talk to him. 947 01:20:31,182 --> 01:20:32,878 We know he's in the audience someplace. 948 01:20:35,553 --> 01:20:38,079 - Where's Mr. Gottlieb? - The other side of the stage. 949 01:20:38,156 --> 01:20:39,647 Come on, boys. 950 01:20:47,232 --> 01:20:49,758 What was that? High "C" or vitamin "D"? 951 01:21:23,301 --> 01:21:24,963 What's the matter? What happened here? 952 01:21:25,036 --> 01:21:27,232 Mr. Gottlieb! Here, give me a hand. 953 01:21:45,323 --> 01:21:47,656 Where are those men? Did you catch them? 954 01:21:47,725 --> 01:21:50,024 No, sir. I'm sorry. They're still out there. 955 01:21:50,094 --> 01:21:51,790 Still out there? 956 01:21:53,932 --> 01:21:57,699 I have an idea. Get me two gypsy costumes at once. 957 01:22:15,019 --> 01:22:16,920 Now we're getting somewhere. 958 01:22:23,161 --> 01:22:25,494 I will not sing unless they are put off there. 959 01:22:25,563 --> 01:22:26,587 Yes, sir. 960 01:24:04,695 --> 01:24:07,255 A battleship in Il Trovatore! 961 01:25:32,183 --> 01:25:35,017 Stop! Don't you do-- 962 01:25:38,523 --> 01:25:41,254 Herr Gottlieb! Lassparri, he's disappeared. 963 01:25:41,325 --> 01:25:42,315 What? 964 01:25:49,767 --> 01:25:52,965 - Then we haven't even a tenor. - Mr. Gottlieb. 965 01:25:55,072 --> 01:25:57,541 - You are Baroni. - That's who I am. 966 01:25:57,608 --> 01:25:59,133 Get into a costume quickly. 967 01:25:59,210 --> 01:26:01,304 - What? - I want you to sing. 968 01:26:03,548 --> 01:26:06,382 But I have no reputation, Mr. Gottlieb. 969 01:26:06,450 --> 01:26:09,477 Besides, I couldn't sing with a strange Leonora. 970 01:26:09,554 --> 01:26:12,080 I've been rehearsing with Miss Castaldi. 971 01:26:12,590 --> 01:26:15,458 - So that's it. - That's it exactly. 972 01:26:17,295 --> 01:26:20,390 All right. Get them two costumes at once. Quick. 973 01:26:21,199 --> 01:26:25,034 Please, after the opera. Go ahead. Get ready. 974 01:27:12,216 --> 01:27:14,708 You hear that? That's real singing. 975 01:28:48,279 --> 01:28:49,941 - What? - Get off! 976 01:28:56,520 --> 01:28:58,682 Is this the opera house? 977 01:28:59,190 --> 01:29:01,716 Arrest those men, and this one, too. 978 01:29:02,026 --> 01:29:05,121 - It's about time. - Lassparri, where have you been? 979 01:29:05,229 --> 01:29:07,391 Been? Do you know what they did to me? 980 01:29:10,234 --> 01:29:13,500 I'll sing them an encore that they'll never forget. 981 01:29:22,246 --> 01:29:25,216 Never in my life have I received such treatment. 982 01:29:25,282 --> 01:29:26,944 They threw an apple at me. 983 01:29:27,017 --> 01:29:29,248 Watermelons are out of season. 984 01:29:33,991 --> 01:29:36,119 Rosa, Baroni, get out there quick. 985 01:29:36,193 --> 01:29:38,424 No. I'm under arrest, Mr. Gottlieb. 986 01:29:38,529 --> 01:29:41,624 - What's that? - If they're arrested, I ought to be, too. 987 01:29:41,699 --> 01:29:43,565 I can't sing if I'm arrested. 988 01:29:47,171 --> 01:29:48,298 What do we do? 989 01:29:48,372 --> 01:29:50,864 We must have them. They'll save the entire season. 990 01:29:50,941 --> 01:29:53,069 Well, what is it you want? 991 01:29:53,144 --> 01:29:54,772 Just a minute. Let me handle this. 992 01:29:54,845 --> 01:29:58,509 - Quick! What do you want? - First, call off that police dog. 993 01:29:59,216 --> 01:30:00,912 All right, anything. 994 01:30:00,985 --> 01:30:04,615 These men are in this country under false pretenses, and I'll do my duty. 995 01:30:04,722 --> 01:30:06,816 I'll be responsible for them. 996 01:30:06,891 --> 01:30:09,622 Besides, they came over here with Mr. Driftwood. 997 01:30:09,693 --> 01:30:12,458 Mr. Driftwood is an employee of the Opera Company. 998 01:30:12,530 --> 01:30:14,965 - Since when? - Since Baroni started singing. 999 01:30:15,032 --> 01:30:17,263 Wait till I get a hold of that elevator operator. 1000 01:30:17,334 --> 01:30:20,429 All right, anything. Please, go out and sing. 1001 01:30:20,905 --> 01:30:22,168 Wait a minute. 1002 01:30:22,239 --> 01:30:25,505 Before he sings, you gotta sign a contract, and I get 10%. 1003 01:30:25,576 --> 01:30:27,477 Yes, and I get 10%, too. 1004 01:30:42,660 --> 01:30:44,253 Now, where were we? 1005 01:30:44,328 --> 01:30:47,321 - "The party of the 10th part...." - No. 1006 01:30:47,398 --> 01:30:49,833 - "The party of the 11th part...." - No.